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You can ‘get to know’ someone from behind the safety of a screen.

But a recent study by the University of South Florida suggests that – while a short period of messaging is fine – we actually shouldn’t wait too long to arrange a meeting.

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But you also don’t want to put it off for too long. Well, there are things you can take away from it for next time. Should you avoid people who make grammatical errors in their profile? But answering these questions is a useful way to progress the process of online dating.

After all, if someone is keen to arrange a date with you, they won’t keep fighting for someone they don’t really know forever. Many match-making websites now have their own blogs, or guides advising you how and when to meet – among other tips – that you might find useful.

But the simple truth is that messaging on the internet is nothing more than a fact-finding mission.

You can gather information about the other person, but until you meet them you won’t know if ‘I love to laugh’ means Fawlty Towers or fart jokes. It’s easy to think you know a person better than you really do.

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It feels a bit more intimate.” Of course, if you’re nervous, there are other things you can do to speed up the getting-to-know-you process.

One friend tells me that, if she has a positive feeling about someone, she gives them the details of her Facebook account and switches to messaging them away from the dating site.

Published in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, it explains that there’s a ‘tipping point’ when it comes to online dating.


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