), windy from all directions, cloudy but also blindingly bright, misty in the mysterious way where it feels like someone might be peeing off the roof of a nearby building and somehow still as HOT as a long day in Hell due to overcompensating indoor heat usage.
That could very well be a sculpture of yours truly–buck naked, in utter despair on the floor next to an empty suitcase asking myself, “Why can’t I look cute when I travel like all those bitches on Instagram!?
” I don’t even need to look necessarily, just less like a hobo than I usually do. The ones covered in cat hair trying to re-fold maps back to their former compact glory? get it…”) Search for “cute winter outfits” or something similarly embarrassing you pray no one ever sees in your search history and this is what you get.
They show up for me more often than the fear that the shelves I installed are going to come crashing down at any moment (again). They offer free next-day shipping and free returns–so if you don’t like a shoe or you need another size, trading them out is fast and completely free.
I guess this is what happens when you pay more than Target prices for your footwear. But one of my favorite things about them is that, besides just showing you pictures of the shoe itself, they also provide a video of someone wearing them. Working at the mall also taught me that the human body can survive solely on a diet of Wendy’s Jr.
At least this time I had a wide open void to scream obscenities into. I’ll never understand a world that mixes sweaters and coats with mini skirts and bare skin.
My standard wardrobe consists of T-shirts from Target, jeans from high school, and a pair of Converse sneakers (I even got married in them; my apologies to Versace, the goddess of high fashion). Which my collection of hoodies proves I clearly am not. (And now you’re telling me I should be shaving my legs between November and March?I would advise bringing one pair so I wore them almost every day. I’m also a big proponent of knee socks because, as I’ve said, I’m the coldest human on Earth. You’ll walk across London’s Tower Bridge and sit outside atop a double-decker bus.Bring many pairs of these, preferably with cats on them or relating to the upcoming-est holiday (for me it was Valentine’s Day). You’ll ascend the Eiffel Tower on the wettest and coldest day of your entire trip.Cheeseburgers and Chik-fil-a waffle fries (just not on Sundays). I finally gave up the vicious cycle of purchasing those shitty sunglasses from Target that break in the middle and got these Ralph Laurens that have lasted me It’s kinda driving me nuts now that the apple in this picture is upside down… Unlike what I packed for Belize, I didn’t need that much gear on this trip. Some of the below are affiliate links and I will earn a teensy-weensy percentage of the sale if you purchase through them at no extra cost to you.