It is true that profound love is less likely to perish, but it can perish nevertheless. But that doesn't mean that it's not love." The important lesson to be drawn from Janine's moving description is that love can be different; looking for the same love with another partner can be devastating, as no two people are identical.
Hence, there is no reason to assume that one's heart is not big enough to include several genuine loves in one's life. It is not wrong that your new love is different from the previous one.
The death of a spouse places the widow in a new situation, which has similarities to other situations in which love ends; nevertheless, widowhood has unique aspects. Realizing the difference in circumstance enables a widow not to feel that she is compromising or settling.
In the book, "Dating a Widower" (Ben Lomond Press, $8.99) Abel Keogh discusses this topic as an expert.
After all, he was widowed nearly 10 years ago and has since remarried.
There is ample evidence that this is possible, both in the diachronic sense of loving one person after another and in the synchronic sense of having two lovers at the same time. Their love to two people is more complex given the continuing impact of bereavement, even years after the loss.
The widow's ongoing relationship and bond to the deceased remains a central aspect in her life.
This is especially so if at the time of the spouse's death, both partners shared a profound love. The role of imagery and counterfactual thinking is central in widows.
In this case, the survivor's love does not die with the spouse's death. While the deceased spouse ceases to disappoint and irritate us, the living new partner continues to do so; he reminds us of the richness and the difficulties of ongoing living relationships.All of us have romantic predicaments; widows (and widowers) seem to have even more. And if they find another lover, while still loving their late spouse, how can these two lovers reside together in their hearts?For widows, is loving again worth the effort of having to adjust to another person?People did not relinquish love, and love even enabled some of them to survive the horror and death around them.Death is perceived to be associated with love in various ways.And is widowhood the proper time to fall in love again?